How to create a confidence man?

ConfidenceConfidence is determined as absence of doubts in a psychology, and experience basis. However in opinion of scientists, confidence doesn’t conflict with the presence of doubts, and they are one of the principles of perception of the world, they are the integral state of personality. According to M. Levitov, the state of confidence has a complex structure, it contains psychological components: cognitive, emotional, volitional. The confidence is a view of a certain situation, understanding of task, means of achievement.

The confidence in activity will be realized if a self- esteem of a person corresponds with his/her real possibilities (capabilities, will, sense, features). In itself the confidence can’t develop independently as a positive quality of personality; its forming comes true in the process of education and studies.

If the self- esteem is higher or lower than the real possibilities, it becomes self-confidence or diffidence. The cultivation of sense of confidence consists in forming of the adequate solicitations and possibilities.

A. Salter distinguishes such the criteria of the confident behaviour:

• emotional speech;
• expressive speech: clear expression of thought and feelings in a non-verbal form (mimicry, gesticulation);
• opposition and dictum of own opinion, taking no count of other people;
the use of “I am”: accenting that the person doesn’t stay an anonym but is responsible for these words;
• acceptance of praise: renunciation of the underestimation of the features, strength and of self-abasement;
• improvisation: renunciation of planning; spontaneous expression of feelings.

Psychologists distinguish such steps to forming of self-reliance:

Step 1: Preparation.

The first step consists of summation: where you are now, where you want to find yourself. On this stage it is also needed to be in the mood for the achievement of aims.

1. Imagine than you’ve already achieved desired: 10 year have passed, so enumerate what you want to get. It can be anything, what will present a value for you after 10 years: you have founded and are developing your business successfully; you see yourself in as a leader of the oil company; you are the owner of the chic yacht.

Write down on a paper everything you have imagined, design it beautifully and look over regularly. Spare to the revision of “List of Achievements” (name at your own discretion) a few minutes every day, enjoying a moment, when you will have all of it.

2. Think about your strong points: think about how you are seen by your relatives, friends and acquaintances. What is considered as your strong side and your weakness. From here, define existent possibilities and serious threats in front of you, that can prevent you to carry out “List of achievements”.

3. Target setting and achievement of aims: think, what is really important, valuable for you, and what you want to achieve in life.

4. Control of the mind: on this stage, it is needed to start controlling the mind, thoughts. Begin to win negative emotions that can loosen a self-reliance. Cultivate the positive thinking, and it will be a powerful weapon against the negative. Remember about where you want to find yourself (“List of Achievements”).

5. Dispel the doubts: final part of preparation is the moment, when it is needed to promise to do everything for achievement the aims. Write down the promise on the sheet of paper, and also necessarily write down, who you will be, if will not restrain the promise. Feel free in expressions, be frank.

Step 2: Way.

Begin moving to the put aims slowly. Every day, doing that approaches you to the aim, you lay a way to success. Get knowledge that is needed for success: analysing put aim it is necessary to define knowledge that will be required in their achievement. Mastering of knowledge is the little with what a way to success begins. A search, mastering and successful application of knowledge, will give a reasonable cause to be proud of yourself; it will become a foundation in the construction of self-reliance, that nobody will take away from you.

At the same time try to avoid superficial knowledge. Superficial knowledge will give a superficial result. Set little aims and realize them. Begin with the small aims that you have set at the first step. Take for habit to begin with small aims and to celebrate every achievement. Thus a self-reliance will come to you bit by bit. Nothing attracts success as good as success. Our little victories are a retinue of king. They go ahead and sound that king goes, and king is our main success.

Manage the mind – hold the positive thinking on height, keep feeling of holiday from gaining end. Mentally enjoy future success, do these experiencing strong, as though it has happened already. Thoughts have an enormous importance in the psychology of success. It is written much and tirelessly about, but nevertheless there is not enough insistence to follow these instructions for many people.

Step 3: Acceleration to Success.

On this stage you will feel the self-reliance. You own knowledge for the achievement of aims and are able to be glad at the results.

Time to put large, enormous aims and accept more impertinent challenges came. Stopping at nothing extend the circle of your knowledge that lie in area of your interests.

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